Typical Movie Cliches

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If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

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All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

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All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

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It's easy for anyone to land a plane, provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

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Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

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The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

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Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

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The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

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People on TV never finish their drinks.

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The chief of police is always black.

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When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

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Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

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Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

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If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

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Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

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Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

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Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

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If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello?, Hello?"

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Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

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It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

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When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

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Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.

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Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

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No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

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If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

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You can always find a chain saw whenever you're likely to need one.

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Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

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All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

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It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

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Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.

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Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.

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A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

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If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.