Nose

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Damn this itch. It looks like I'm going to sneeze any time soon. Damn this sinus and wet hair in the mornings.

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Figured I took the nearest seat to the bus door exit. That way I can make my exit graciously without leaving a trail of imminent hostile vapour.

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Alamak. This auntie boarded up the bus and immediately spotted her seat beside me - her acute, military-trained visual cue obviously used to scan the parameters of the bus' contents to good use.

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Too late for me to shift to the outside of the seat. Damn. My escape plan was compromised. No less by an auntie with ninja reflexes.

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She sauntered over, and not before placing her 'very tiny' backside on the space beside mine in a split-second, I swore I felt a tremor of magnitude size five on the Richter scale.

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Goddamnit. The nose is itching again.

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A-A-A-A-A....

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Plug the leaky hole dammit.

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A-A-A-A-A....

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Phew. Anticlimax.

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-T-C-H-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Houston, Gale Force Ten has been recorded.

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'Excuse me', I mumbled with the tissue around my facial orifices.

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The auntie looked at me, quickly covered her mouth with her fingers, and muttered something under her breath. Feeling suspicious that she was going to be exposed by the Ebola virus around her, she quickly stood up - and changed her seat, a few rows back, still giving me that piercing Stare of Death.

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Cheeken macnugget!!!! How insensitive can you be, Tremor Auntie?!? Why, you never see people sneeze before issit??? I'm contagious, issit? I'm infectious, issit? Cheeken macnugget!!! I was damn paisey man!!!